I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
