Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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