How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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