My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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