You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
That's when you crack a 10am beer
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
