Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
