i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
