I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
He kissed a someone with a penis
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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