Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
