i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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