are you so shy because you have an std?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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