Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
