just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
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