Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
