I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I got inside last night via doggy door
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
