I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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