how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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