Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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