Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Randomize
