I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
