did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize