do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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