i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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