im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
