Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
