Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
