I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
