all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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