At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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