We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
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