Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
