When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
