after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Randomize
