He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
This is the high leading the old right now
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Is Oprah even human
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize
