I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
