Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
