no, he came in my armpit
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
