Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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