I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
