i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I want to make a zoo with you.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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