Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
