PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
The police scanner is talking about you again....
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
