That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
