Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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