I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
