Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Even my vagina gasped.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
