all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
