So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
