he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
We need to get me chipped asap
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
