you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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