a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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