I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
