Having a random hookup so left but love u
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
