Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
NoShamevember. You game?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
