She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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