Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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