He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Randomize
