She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
