i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
