Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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