Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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