Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
