Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
