You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
