it wasn't lemon gatorade
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
