Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
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