I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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