all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
